Walk Tall (Teaching and Inspiring Young Minds)

Day 1 2011-2012

2011-08-30T20:38:00.000-04:00

All in all, today was a good day!

Highlights:

--Students seem well behaved.
--The class period went by crazy fast (went from 90 minute blocks to 60 minutes)
--Many of my class sizes are manageable

Areas for Improvement:
--Having lesson plans for next week done by Sunday
--Make a seating chart for each class
--Tighten transitions

End of School Year 2010-2011

2011-06-22T20:52:00.001-04:00

Wow! I never thought that this day would come!! Even though I have (paid) a workshop to attend for the rest of the week, I am soooooo glad to put this school year behind me. I'm slightly worried by the teacher gossip; I just need to be me and do what needs to be done for the kids. Until next time!

January Update

2011-02-01T16:01:00.004-05:00

In a recent school letter, my principal compares teachers to car salesmen, especially when it comes to positive thinking. This part of the letter especially stood out--"The difference between the effective and the ineffective teacher is that the effective teacher only thinks or speaks it once. They identify the problem and spend the rest of their time focused on solving it."

It's so easy to get caught in the trap of complaining all of the time. I know that I am guilty of it. However, as I was telling my husband earlier today, as __________ as my students can be at times, I still see so much potential. When I see my students making real-life connections, it makes me realize that I am teaching them way more than my subject matter. I am teaching my students valuable life skills.

I know that I may not have the answer to every one of my students problems, but I hope that by the time they leave my classroom in June, they are better speakers, writers, and thinkers.

New Year Reflections

2011-01-05T21:49:00.003-05:00

Well, three days into the new year and all is okay in my neck of the woods. I still have some work to do with my students (group work is a 'work in progress', too many students are borderline failing) but I know that I go in everyday and give it my all. That's half the battle right there!

I really need to capitalize on my students' strengths. I tend to lecture, lecture, lecture and then give very limited and often extremely guided learning activities. Once I get a chance to really sit down with my curriculum (anyone else running like a chicken with its head cut off this year?), I'd love to have my talkative class have accountable discussions with each other rather than me. Or for my class full of kinesthetic learners to have tons of hands-on projects to complete. I know that things like this require time and resources to build up. I'm hopeful for the rest of this school year.

Reverb Prompt 24

2010-12-26T21:12:00.002-05:00

Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I definitely felt anxious at the beginning of this school year. Over a third of the staff at my school left and the administration is brand new. All summer long I kept telling myself that everything's ok but I didn't believe it until I saw the positive changes that the new administration has brought. Don't get me wrong; everything isn't perfect. However, the new administration is willing to listen, and try to do what's best for the students. That, right there, is half the battle.

With all of the changes happening, the principal(s) have told me more than once that I am a valuable asset to my team. As I come to a crossroads professionally, I am discovering that self-doubt will not get me far. I have to celebrate my strengths, and learn from my weaknesses.

Reverb Prompt 22-Travel

2010-12-22T22:27:00.003-05:00

Prompt: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

Other than traveling back and forth to visit my mother in Boston, I haven't gone anywhere out of the ordinary this year. I would love to participate in a tour of Civil Rights memorials in the South. Or take a fun day-trip to an amusement park out of state. This summer, I plan to be on the road as much as possible!

Reverb Prompt 21 Future Self

2010-12-22T21:49:00.003-05:00

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Five years from now, I am a homeowner. My oldest daughter is a successful college freshman and my youngest daughter is in kindergarten. My husband and I are more in love than ever. Most importantly, I am teaching in a spiritual capacity. My future self would advise the following:

"Dear L,

Stay true to yourself. Don't let other people's perceptions of reality mess with your head. You will not remain a middle school teacher forever. As a matter of fact, once you break out of your shell and start really putting yourself out there, you will attract the spiritual teachers/like-minded individuals that you so desperately crave. Do something to make yourself happy everyday. Always live with intention."

Ten years ago, I was entering the second half of my sophomore year in college. I was very insecure about my place in college. I was still trying to sort out a dysfunctional relationship with my oldest daughter's biological father. I had an abortion. I had no real sense of what it meant to be a woman. Here's what I would tell my former self.

"Dear L,

Although college may seem like the hardest thing you've done so far, you'll look back on these years with fondness in your heart. Yeah, your family is crazy, and you did not grow up with a lot of resources, but you've earned your seat. You deserve all the success and accolades that come your way, and more. You will travel, complete an amazing project that will put you in touch with one of your heart's desires, and will meet your future husband.

Your oldest daughter will grow from being a bratty spunky kid to being a headstrong opinionated teenager who just so happens to have two loving parents that will go to the ends of the earth for her.

The abortion, while necessary during that time, will do more damage to your psyche and your body than you realize. You will beat yourself up over the fact that you even got pregnant again, especially given the fact that the baby may not have even been his. Though he cheated on you, you will guilty for exploring other options. He had a hold on you that took a long time to break.

However, you do heal. Eventually, you become pregnant again and everything is right. You are married, have benefits, a decent job, and most importantly, feel thankful for another opportunity to be a mommy again.

While the pregnancy will be relatively uneventful, the birth will be quick and intense. Later, the doctor will tell you that you had a hole in your uterus and will show you a picture of it.

You will inspire young minds. You will see your mother become clean and stay clean (this time for good). You will know your worth as a woman. Everything will happen according to God's plan."

This has been so cathartic typing this out!

Reverb--Avoidance

2010-12-20T17:25:00.002-05:00

Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I've avoided working to my fullest potential as a teacher this year. I still haven't got the right groove for lesson planning and grading yet. And frankly, I feel like a hamster on a wheel lately.

I've been avoiding pushing myself because I'm lazy and I don't really feel like it. I don't see the reward in stressing myself out or coming up with fabulous lessons only for the kids to say that they 'still don't get it'.

Hopefully, the holiday break will re-energize me enough to want to do this, at least until something better comes along.

Reverb--Prompt 19

2010-12-20T17:21:00.002-05:00

Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

I definitely feel like my body has finally healed from my daughter's birth in January 2009. I'm not sure if it was the time of year or my age, but it took a long time for me to get back to myself. I'm glad this day has arrived!!

In 2011, I need a healing for my soul. I desperately need to carve time out for myself to just be in the moment and breathe. My life isn't as difficult as it could be--I want to always be thankful for my blessings and working towards more abundance in my life.

Reverb 17-18

2010-12-18T23:18:00.003-05:00

Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I've learned to never underestimate my abilities. I've been told throughout this year by various people in my life that I have what it takes to make it. I just have to believe in my self, and make it happen! Speaking of making things happen,

Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?
For 2011, I really want to live as authentically as possible. No more lying, feeling shameful, or less than. No more not pursuing my dreams because of x, y, or z. Life is too short for "if onlys".

Reverb 12-16

2010-12-16T22:17:00.002-05:00

12. Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? The beginning of 2009 versus 2010 was definitely a body integration moment as that is when I gave birth to my second daughter. I think that anytime a body goes through that much intense pain at once, after awhile, your body and mind start to operate as one.

13. Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?
My next step is definitely putting some of my thoughts into action; specifically to do with spirituality and my career aspirations. I really need to get back to the basics and follow the golden rule. Once I start treating people the way that I want to be treated, I am positive that more doors will open for me.

14.Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
I definitely appreciate that my mother is a totally different person than she was a year ago. Without going into too much detail here, for a while I did not think that my mother would live to see age 50. It makes me so happy to see her succeed. I show my gratitude every time I see her by telling her that I am so proud of her and that I love her dearly (although I keep my distance because she's a Sagittarius, and Sags are crazy!! haha!)

15.5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. I want to remember my lazy, carefree summer and my baby girl growing into an individual with her own preferences. Mostly, I want to remember the growth in moving from point A to point B. It may not make much sense right now, but it will in the future.

16.Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? This prompt is hard for me to answer because I don't have a lot of friends, or those that I would consider close friends, anyways. There are two sets of friends that stick out in my mind: at my current place of employ and within the graduate class that I am taking this semester. I've bonded with a few people on my team and they've changed my perspective about the school environment and the students--basically, it's just a job, don't get caught up in the politics, play the game, don't get played. As for my graduate class cohort? They've allowed me to see that we are all life-time learners and no one has all the solutions to every problem that we'll face in the classroom.

Reverb 9-11

2010-12-12T00:11:00.006-05:00

Prompt Day 9: What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

I'm not really a social gathering type of person. However, I was actually very glad that I attended my school's holiday party this year. There were lots of staff members and their partners that I was surprised to see. I did feel a bit awkward at first because my husband and I decided to sit at a table by ourselves. However, once more people arrived, and some folks sat at our table, I felt much better. This event helped me to break out of my shell and stop being so concerned with what others are thinking of me. Or, of what I am thinking about myself. I am still aloof at times--this is one of things that I'd like to change in 2011.

Prompt Day 10: What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

The wisest decision I made this year was to take classes through a licensure program with my school's district. I am learning so much about the craft of teaching. I love the practicality of the activities we are doing and have already started to use some of the strategies I'm learning with my students this year. I wish I had this information during my first or even second year of teaching!

Prompt Day 11: What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

1. I do not want to procrastinate any longer. I did not start this school year out on a positive note. I was angry and bitter at my previous principal because she was unethical and blind to some situations, and frankly I was (and still am some days) tired of teaching these crazy kids that no one knows what to do with. Therefore, I did not use the summer to create lesson plans for this school year like I wanted to and things just snowballed from there. Now that I know that things are better this year (new administration), I do not need to procrastinate. Some mini goals to break this habit include: writing lesson plans for the following week by each Friday, and grading as much homework and classwork as I can during my prep periods so I can leave work on time.

2. I do not want to be a nag to my husband any longer. We are both stressed out this year (school, classes, raising kids, finances, etc.) and need to cleave to each other, not stand divided. My mini goals to break this habit include: speaking out of love, taking a moment to decompress (drink something hot, take a bath, etc.), and savor the opportunities that we have to connect to each other one on one.

3. I do not want to be a complacent mother. I want my daughters (especially my oldest) to be able to come to me with any questions that they might have and not be afraid to share. My mini goals to be the best mother I can be include: making individual time for each of my girls (re-vamping our book club, concerts, etc.), and letting go of the negative self-talk that I am a bad person once and for all. If I'm confident, that will carry over into my relationship with my girls, and beyond.

4. I do not want every day of my life to be a daily grind. I want to choose one thing to do that makes me happy daily. My mini goals include: reviewing my list of things that make me happy and doing at least one of those activities each day.

5. I do not want to be aloof any longer. I have always been a shy individual and rarely had any friends. Although I've come out of my shell some, I still put up my shields when I'm in a new environment, and/or don't feel comfortable. This does affect my relationship with my in-laws. My mini goals to break this habit include: going out of my way to have a conversation, and actually taking through my thoughts when I start to pull away.

6. I do not want to live from paycheck to paycheck any longer. My mini goals include: setting up an automatic transfer from checking to savings, and cutting out any extraneous purchases.

7. I do not want to spend my entire summer break at home any longer. My mini goals include: finding affordable day trip options, saving money to travel to a different state in summer 2001.

8. I do not want to ignore the spiritual side of my life any longer. I truly need to find a community of like-minded individuals. I know that it will help me be a better person. My mini goals include: visiting nondenominational churches, and spiritual bookstores, and opening up and talking to people.

9. I do not want to be consumed with fear any longer. I want to live authentically; to truly be myself regardless of the outcome. My mini goals include: following "The Four Agreements" more closely, continue writing daily, and live with intention.

10. I do not want to be a teacher of students in an urban school longer than 3-5 more years. I'm starting to outgrow this position and am looking towards a different direction (what yet, I don't know). My mini goals include: start researching other career opportunities, talk with people who work in fields that I may be interested in, look for leadership opportunities.

11. I do not want to be unhealthy any longer. I want to exercise at least twice a week and eat 'cleanly' everyday. My mini goals include: utilizing our Y membership at least 1-2 times a week in addition to bellydance, packing lunch everyday, eating a healthy breakfast, taking a multivitamin every morning, and drinking half of my body weight in water.

Reverb Days 7-8

2010-12-11T23:38:00.004-05:00

Prompt Day 7: Where have you discovered community, on-line or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I've discovered quite a few communities in 2010, mainly at my place of employ. While over 30-40% of the staff has changed in the last 4 years, in 2010 folks have truly rallied around each other.

For 2011, I'd like to join a community of spiritually like-minded individuals. I don't necessarily want to join a church; on the other hand, it would be nice to have individuals in my life (besides my husband) who will hold me accountable for being righteous.

Prompt Day 8 Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

Borrowing this idea from Analog Girl in a Digital World, here's a list of ten things that make me different.

1. I love to learn about what makes a person 'tick'. I can spend hours listening to or reading about a person's life story. One day, I would love to record/write down African American elders' autobiographies and/or memoirs for a living.

2. I have overcome a lot of obstacles in my 30 years on Earth, the two most significant being living with a drug addicted mother (she's been clean for a year now, thank goddess) and having a child at 16. Thankfully, those obstacles have not prevented me from becoming a successful adult.

3. I have an active imagination. I was an only child until I was 13 years old, so I used to often make up elaborate games to entertain myself. I think I scared my mother into thinking I was crazy because I used to talk aloud to my dolls all the time. Maybe I was really communicating with angels?

4. I have a benevolent spirit. I honestly would love to live in a community where it wouldn't seem suspicious to make cookies for your neighbor, etc. I wish more individuals cared about their fellow man.

5. I love anything to do with color!! I appreciate how color appeals to the senses.

6. I love to sleep in! My ideal work schedule would be 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. (with full-time pay and benefits, of course)!

7. I am very observant. It takes me a while to warm up to people, however, once you're my friend, we're friends for life, haha!

8. I am a fighter when it comes to my right to be independent. I like to do things my way, and if I am convicted about something, I rarely change my mind.

9. I am very goofy. There's nothing like a good laugh! :)

10. I am a great listener. People often ask me for advice, and I like being needed in that way.

December 6--Make

2010-12-06T21:38:00.002-05:00

Today's Prompt: What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Well, I always strive to be artistic, but never really follow through on it. I've tried my hand at crocheting (fail), drawing (fail), and coloring. I would love to make a piece of pottery one day, and I will definitely clear some time in 2011 to do just that.

Reverb Prompt Day 5--Letting Go

2010-12-05T14:19:00.002-05:00

To get writing more often, I decided to sign up for Reverb 10, "reflect on this year and manifest what's next".

Today's prompt is the following:

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Let's see... the first thing that comes to mind is letting go of my previous expectations of teaching. I honestly thought that my fifth year in the profession would be so much easier. I've been challenged by apathetic students, low test scores, changing my teaching style, asking for help, and honestly relying on my instincts when dealing with the children and adults in my building.

I've let go of my enthusiasm for the profession. Teaching urban middle school students English/Language Arts is not my passion. An intuitive reading that I had recently suggested that I look into teaching from a spiritual perspective. I am open to that; however I need to take the steps and position myself so that I am meeting the right people at the right time. Perhaps 2011 will be that time to truly let go of this version of teaching and open the door to other aspects of this field.

Ch, ch, change!

2010-09-17T22:46:00.002-04:00

My class sizes have been reduced slightly (largest class is now about 29-30 students). Technology is up and running in my room as of today (sweet)! An Instructional Leader will be in my room at least 2 times a week to co-teach a class. And yet, I still feel like I'm not prepared! Lots of changes have been thrown at me this year. New administration, my oldest started high school, my youngest started daycare, I've started an evening class, and I still haven't figured out a system to keep on top of all the paperwork. It'll get there, slowly but surely.

Beginning of School 10-11

2010-09-01T19:17:00.004-04:00

Well, the past three days have had more ups than downs. Here's a breakdown:

Pros:
*new administration that says what they mean and mean what they say
*concrete rules, expectations, and procedures in place from day 1
*students shared what they think 'good' teachers and 'good' students do
*reputation as one who can 'quiet a class down' (THAT'S SO AWESOME!!)
*compliment from a department chair on how well-run my classroom is

Cons:
*very large classes (34 kids!! no aide)
*disrespectful students (already made 3 phone calls home)
*technology not working properly in my room
*feeling unprepared

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I know that some of the cons will work itself out as our numbers settle. Still, I can't wait for this three day weekend, glory hallelujah!!

Ideas, Thoughts, and all that Jazz

2010-07-24T18:25:00.004-04:00

Still in vacation mode but, here's a couple of thoughts floating in my head:

1. I had an okay school year as far as being comfortable with lesson planning & implementation/presentation. I definitely want to increase the amount of project-based learning & real life connections for my next group of students in the fall.

2. Change is coming down the pipeline. We have a new principal, and I know that a couple of my co-workers will no be at the school in the fall. In the past, I've had a tendency to 'jump ship' when things got hectic (and trust, things were mad hectic at the end of the school year), but I'm not feeling that this year. Not to say that things are all good, but I'm more willing to wait it out than before.

3. I'll be taking a couple of classes starting in the fall to move up to the next level of licensure. Eh, it's free so I'm not going to complain too much. I just have to really make sure I'm managing my time well to be on top of my game, teaching and non-teaching wise.

I'll be back in August with some planning strategies, etc. for the new school year.

End of Year

2010-05-23T00:21:00.001-04:00

The school year is slowly winding to a close. It has been a very interesting year, to say the least. My school is in limbo right now and I'm just really being very cautious about what moves I should make for the following school year.

A couple of things that I'd like to do before the year is over include:

-Write an End-of-the-year newsletter personalized for each of my classes
-Organize some type of fun activities with my team mates for the last couple of Fridays (board game day, field day, etc.)
-Start planning more engaging activities NOW for all my units next year

I've learned a lot about myself and my ethics this year... more to come...

Boundaries

2010-01-14T18:22:00.003-05:00

This is a test to see if I can write this diplomatically and without giving away too personal details. In general, I notice a trend among my colleagues: There are those who genuinely care about our students, and there are those who do not. The ones who do not care have no qualms about telling why. It usually involves blaming the students in some way, shape, or form about details that they can't control. What happens when this same toxic attitude effects your child? What does a caring parent do?

Lightbulb moment

2010-01-06T21:39:00.004-05:00

Earlier this week, my first block class represented fiercely on their activator/do now. I had scanned a copy of a painting for the students to view and had them answer the following questions about it: What do you see? What do you think? What do you wonder?

What is usually a 5-10 minute activity turned into a 45-minute powerful discussion of the themes, main ideas, and connections presented in our current text. I love it when everything clicks!!

First Day Back

2009-08-31T17:36:00.002-04:00

All is well! My last period class is full of rock stars!! We had a chance to practice some of my rules and procedures. Everything went so smoothly, I had to pinch myself 'cause I must be dreaming. I think somebody in Guidance must like me this year :).

And then, there's first period. I have at least 3-4 repeaters in that class (only 2 showed up this morning). One repeater is very hyper so I'm going to have to give him plenty of activities to do ("do you want to run this errand for me after you finish problems #1-5?") to keep him engaged. There's this cute little boy who's definitely his own person ("Miss, I'm fat and I get overheated. Can I bring in some water?" "I just care about a girl's personality, not her looks."). I hope he keeps his unique outlook on life because 7th grade has a way of corrupting young minds, ha ha!

My middle period class is... interesting. I started with 18 and was left with 10 after the pull-out teacher finally found us. Of the ten, I have 1 repeater who's very needy so she'll be my paper-passer-out person.

Overall, all of my classes seem like a hard-working group so I'm sure this year will be productive.

It's Time...

2009-08-04T18:33:00.002-04:00

to kick it into high gear for school year prep '09! I'm slightly nervous about all the changes that are coming this year. On the other hand, I'm teaching the same grade level so I won't have to revamp too much. All in all, I'm grateful to still be gainfully employed, especially given that my district has let some teachers go. I plan on signing up for a district licensure program in the fall to move up to the next level. The classes are FREE (which is awesome!) and typically are 1-2 nights a week for three years. I don't know how that's going work out with an infant and a teenager at home but when there's a will, there's a way. Now, if only I can stop procrastinating and actually begin checking off things on my long to-do list, haha!

Welcome Back!

2009-04-28T18:29:00.003-04:00

Day 2 is over! I'm back to work this week after being on maternity leave for three months. To briefly recap,

The Good list:
1. Greeted students at the door just like our old routine
2. Handed out morning work to students as soon as they enter class (also old routine)
3. Ability to get the students attention without too much effort (much improved)
4. Ability to improvise with short notice
5. Lessons that flow smoothly from one activity to the next
6. A staff member complimented my classroom management :) :)

The 'needs to be improved' list:
1. Chattiness during transitions (I'd never thought I'd get to the point in my teaching career where this is my only worry! I guess this means that I've grown as a professional!!)
2. Finding enough time to get homework and classwork graded and returned promptly
3. Lack of sleep (although this comes with the territory of being a parent to an infant)
4. My role as a co-teacher (always tricky trying to find a perfect balance between being a glorified aide versus academic partner)

I'm glad to be back and I can't wait for the weekend so that I can sleep in, haha!

Life After Birth

2009-03-13T16:10:00.003-04:00

Hey ya'll...
My schedule has changed significantly since giving birth to my 2nd daughter six weeks ago. I hardly get a full night's sleep any more and I have to plan bathing (and other important things) hours in advance. However, her baby kisses and smiles make it all worth it!

Having extended time off from teaching has allowed me to think about, what else, teaching, haha! On a serious note, I am going back to my classroom stronger and better than ever. I am treating my first day back (end of April) just like the first day of school--rules, routines, rigor. It's time to step it up for 2009!

My baby girl has arrived!

2009-02-03T19:44:00.002-05:00

Just a quick post to announce my baby girl's arrival. Niara (pronounced nee-ah-ra; swahili for "one with a high purpose") came into the world on January 26, 2009 weighing 7lbs. 6 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long. Mama, baby, and family are doing well and we're resting as much as possible with a newborn.

2008 review

2009-01-02T21:49:00.006-05:00

I jacked this from a good e-friend --this meme has definitely given me a lot to think about/improve upon for 2009!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

I started off the academic year (Fall 2008) with greater confidence in my teaching abilities.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Well, I've kept some of my resolutions. A couple of them include: following up with a fertility specialist in regards to blocked fallopian tubes, consistently attending bellydance classes, and changing my immediate family's last name to better reflect our cultural heritage. For 2009, my main focus is spiritual and personal growth, especially being impeccable with my word.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Not this year.

5. What countries did you visit? None. This will change in 2009/2010.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

This year, I would like to have clarity in my purpose and peace of mind that I am on the right path.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Late May 2008—that's when we found out that we're pregnant after trying for 4-5 years!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Having a relatively healthy pregnancy.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not letting the little things go!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Besides pregnancy related symptoms, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought? 6 CD Lecture series--“Ask your Guides” by Sonia Choquette.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My husband's behavior merits celebration because he has rode with me through many storms and still loves me despite my many faults.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My own behavior makes me appalled and depressed at times because honestly I feel like so much is out of my control... I find it hard to "let go and let God".

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills and paying off credit card and student loan debt.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Finding out that I am pregnant! Also, having money saved going into the summer months (especially important since my school district doesn't pay its teachers during the summer) and being able to afford a doula.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Beyonce' “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? thinner or fatter? richer or poorer?
Happier, Fatter, Richer, ha!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I did more traveling.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? I wish that I did less complaining.

20. How did you spend Christmas? I spent Christmas at home with my immediate family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yes, most especially with the new life growing inside me :).

22. How many one-night stands? None! Happily married, thank goodness!

23. What was your favorite TV program? Heroes (although this season sucked goat balls).

24. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn’t dislike this time last year? No.

25. What was the best book you read? The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poiter

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Chanda Rule

27. What did you want and get? GPS, a healthy pregnancy

28. What did you want and not get? Different career path

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Iron Man

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went out to eat for my birthday and I turned 28.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Changing career paths.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Flattering and functionality

33. What kept you sane? The Internet and my public library!

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Tina Fey

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Health care & education

36. Who did you miss? My paternal grandmother

37. Who was the best new person you met? My husband's brother's family

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008? Why worry when you can pray!

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Rachelle Ferrell--”Satisfied”

Lemme tell a story 'bout an old man and woman I know
They were in the desert so dry, diggin' ditches…deep
Waitin' for the rain to flow
Well, the people came from miles around
Wantin' to know why they did what they did and how
"Faith is the key" he said, "to what can't yet be seen"
Then he looked at the sky, winked at his wife and said,
"That's why baby, baby, baby…"

Chorus:

I'm so satisfied
I know that this joy can't be denied!
Make me sing in the morning
Make me smile at night
Laugh for no particular reason
Just 'cause everything's alright!
I'm so satisfied

Verse 2:

No doubt about it, there's a higher power working in here!
There's a way to anything, anytime, anyway and anywhere
But it won't work if there's fear
If we put our trust in what we feel
Instead of what we think in our heads, hmm
Then we'll remember to keep it real
So the soul will be nourished and the spirit is fed!
Baby, baby, baby, baby

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:

Life is only what we allow it to be
There are no accidents and no mistakes
It really just depends on the choices we choose to make
Everything is everything anyway!

Repeat Chorus

Exasperation!

2008-11-17T17:06:00.005-05:00

While my students are 'angels' compared to last year, I still am struggling against the beast known as chatter in my classroom, especially during last period. I've tried: lunch detentions, calling parents, sending students to a 'buddy' or 'time out' room, and moving seats. Yet these children still love to talk!! Talking is not the worst thing in the world; however, I want my students to respect themselves and their teacher enough to not talk during direct instruction. Is this just how 6th graders are (please tell me no)? Perhaps it's the time of year? Or maybe its my hormones (a pregnant woman and 6th graders don't mix well at times)?

Oktober--Short and Quick

2008-10-05T17:57:00.002-04:00

My classes are going quite well and the numbers of students is manageable (less than 25 in all 3 preps). Most importantly, I feel a lot more confident than I did last year or the year before.

1st Day

2008-09-02T18:29:00.003-04:00

Yay! The first day of school went very well! Here's a quick run-down of the positives and things that need to be worked on:

Positives

1. The school-wide signal to capture the students' attention works (3-2-1 hand raised--eyes and ears on the speaker).

2. The classroom television and light switch is fixed.

3. My students are respectful and genuinely want to do well.

4. The hallways are quiet and transitioning is easy.

5. No referrals to administration.

6. Everyone attempted today's classwork assignment.

Things to be worked on

1. Seating arrangement--there seems to be pockets of chatty students in each of my classes. I will (re) assign seating by the end of the week, either alphabetically or randomly.

2. Size of classes. I have approx. 25 students in my inclusion homeroom and little to no paraprofessional help. Within two weeks, this number should drop as students will be pulled out for the district remedial program.

3. Lack of a working computer. I'd love to start using the SMA.RT Board in my classroom, however I need a connected computer in order to do so.

Overall, I'm satisfied with how the day transpired. If anyone has tips on how to alleviate student chattiness (6th grade), please feel free to leave a comment :).

Special Ed Inclusion

2008-08-28T17:47:00.005-04:00

We just finished our in-service planning at the school this week and I had a chance to look at my schedule & class roster. I knew that I'd be on a 6th grade two man team (I'm teaching ELA/SS, my teammate is teaching Math/Science). I also knew that the class would be special ed inclusion. What's puzzling is that my team teacher is listed as both the Math/Science teacher and the special ed teacher.

Is this legal? My other team mates and I listed our concerns to the administration in writing today. What they do with our list of concerns is entirely up in the air. I hope that I'll at least have a paraprofessional available to assist me. If not, I'll make it through the best that I can until I take maternity leave in January. Please pray that there won't be any angry parents shouting for my head this year!!

P.S. We're having another GIRL!! Yippee!!

P.P.S. Yesterday, I found out that I will have help during my Social Studies class(es).

Pre-planning: Year 3

2008-08-06T19:03:00.003-04:00

This year, I'll be teaching 6th grade ELA & SS (inclusion/two-person team). Our in-service starts approximately 3 weeks from now and the students come back to school Sept. 2nd. I'm very anxious this year because I'm due in mid-January and I haven't had to balance a newborn and job responsibilities in a long time (my only child just turned 12)!

I'll probably notify my principal of my intentions this month. Ideally, I plan on taking 12 weeks maternity leave and come back to school around mid-April. It all depends on my family finances and the baby, of course!

My areas of focus for school year '08-'09 is consistency, consistency, consistency. I know what I want my classroom to look like, what rules and expectations I want my students to follow, etc. I just have to make sure that I hold up my end of the bargain. This'll definitely be my 'make or break' year as this still doesn't feel like the 'right' thing for me to be doing right now. Onward and upward!

News that just might affect my teaching

2008-06-22T22:36:00.002-04:00

The last day of school was June 18th and I've been on straight cruise control ever since, lol! My principal let me know that she'd like me to teach 6th grade ELA and SS for next year, which is cool. I'll also be on a two-man team which is a bit of a change but I'm sure that I'll adapt quickly.

The news that just might affect my teaching this year? I'm almost 10 weeks pregnant! My husband and I have been trying for quite some time; as a matter of fact, I was scheduled to have surgery on June 24 to fix some defective 'equipment'. Obviously God has other plans in mind!

I've only told 2 very close coworkers as it will be quite apparent in the fall that I'm expecting anyways, lol! I'm slightly concerned about maternity leave (the baby is due on January 20th) but I'm sure everything will work out in time.

Post Break

2008-04-29T17:54:00.001-04:00

This is our 2nd day back from Spring Break and all is well. The children were a bit rowdy on Monday but we seem to be getting back into our routine. I finally passed my state's certification exam for English/Language Arts (woohoo) yet I feel slightly nervous about next year--I'm trying to stay put if I can help it!

There's a lot that I'm thinking about as we get closer and closer to the summer:

--Should I work (part-time) or just enjoy the break?
--What if my Principal doesn't hire me for the 2008-2009 school year?
--How do I become the best ELA teacher ever?

In the meantime, I'm looking for cool ideas to implement these final weeks of school (we've started "Holes" any suggestions?)--only 8 more weeks and counting!

Privilege Meme

2008-01-16T16:53:00.000-05:00

I found this meme on Miss A's blog. I would say that my childhood was primarily working class with middle class aspirations. I bounced around quite a bit between my mother, my father, my grandmother, and a family friend's homes so I've experienced everything middle class and below--from the stigma of a parent receiving welfare to living in a suburban neighborhood.~Laniza

From What Privileges Do You Have?, based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright. To participate, bold the items that apply to you.

Father went to college (community college)
Father finished college
Mother went to college (my mother had a full basketball scholarship but did not finish because she was pregnant with me)
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.
Were read children’s books by a parent.
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 (violin lessons in 5^th grade-I wished that I kept up with it!)
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.
Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp (local Boys & Girls' club)
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child
You and your family lived in a single-family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child
You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in high school (Granted, it was black & white! Ha!)
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16

Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.

2008-01-12T19:05:00.000-05:00

Well, 2008 is turning out to be a great year thus far! While I'm still on the fence about remaining in the teaching profession, I feel a lot more secure in my abilities than last year. I am so grateful for the following at my new school:

--supportive administration
--having an inclusion teacher in 2 out of 3 classes
--small(er) class sizes (average is 15)
--increased salary
--more professional opportunities
--being a positive role model to students (one student in particular told me that I was his 1st black teacher. This is significant because the school district has over 70% students of color. Where have all the teachers of color gone?)
--receiving help and pats on the back when needed
--having a structured curriculum (oh man, was this a nightmare for me last year!!)

Now all I have to do is carry this positivity to the end of the year :)!

2007-11-12T11:52:00.000-05:00

Hello?! Is this thing on? lol!

I'm still teaching :). My last period group has pulled a 'switcheroo' on me and become my favorite group of students seemingly overnight. They are so... goofy, just like their English teacher :). My focus has shifted slightly as there's been a lot of tragedies in my family within the last few months (my paternal grandmother died in June, my paternal cousin died in October, my maternal cousin suffered 3rd degree burns on her face and back in late October). I still feel like I'm keeping my head barely above water some days... however, I'm gonna give this my best try. Only 7 months 'til June :).

>>>

2007-10-03T16:28:00.000-04:00

I've been fighting a cold on and off since last week. I took yesterday off because I sounded like Barry White's female cousin, and today, while teaching my first period class, I lost my voice! Needless to say, the 7th grade VP insisted that I go home. My husband is heavily leaning toward me taking tomorrow off too. But, goodness, 2 1/2 days of sick time and it isn't even the middle of October yet? Oh well, I have to be able to speak in order to teach! Off to make another cup of lemon zinger tea.

Sick but No Sick Time

2007-09-25T20:36:00.000-04:00

Ugh! Going into my 3rd week and I've been really questioning why I'm being called to teach right now. There's obviously some message that God is trying to get me to understand... is it humility? Compassion? Competence? Self-Worth? Sacrifice?

In the past five years, I've gone from full time college student, to part-time bank teller, to full-time customer service rep, to charter school teacher, to public school teacher and I'm still not satisfied. I feeling like teaching ain't my passion, and it's getting harder to get up and go to school everyday.

What I'd like to do (which is what I was *thisclose* to getting this past summer) is advise students of color about the college admissions process or collect oral histories of African American elders for a museum or college/university. In the meantime, I suppose that this year will be my chance to stack money and set goals for an escape date sooner than later.

Fellow teachers, any advice that you have about 2nd year burnout, charter vs. public schools, quarter year crisis, etc. will be greatly appreciated.

Week #1

2007-09-17T16:29:00.000-04:00

Well, I made it through the entire week without crying. And then... the tears came late Sunday evening. The differences between this school and my old school are profound!

Old School:

small, 'close-knit' environment (children often in the same classes together year after year)
some parents/teachers have too close of a relationship w/ administration, resulting in many unprofessional situations
no school-wide curriculum
limited resources for special education/talented and gifted children
long hours, low pay
reasonable teaching load (1 class each--ELA & S.S., Sustained Silent Reading)
remained in the same room for 2 out of 3 classes/ my own filing cabinet & storage space

New School:

larger, more impersonal environment (children coming from a wide variety of schools/educational levels)
administration has a backbone (my assistant principal is the bomb and will suspend a child in a heartbeat)!
pacing guide, scripted lesson plans for the 1st three weeks
somewhat adequate resources for special education/talented and gifted children (although not enough paraprofessionals and aides to go around)
shorter hours, better pay
reasonable teaching load (3 classes of ELA + duty 2-3 times a week)
floating for all three classes, no filing cabinet or storage space beyond what the regular teacher gives

So, while I'm truly grateful for the opportunity to continue to teach, I've got to find my niche so that I'm not stressed out on Sunday evenings. Mainly, I need to find a way to balance the paperwork, get the discipline issues in order, and prepare as much as possible for the next day before I leave the school building.

Day 1

2007-09-10T16:42:00.000-04:00

Well ya'll, I made it! Day 1 down, 179 left! Overall, it was a good day. I started off strong by reviewing my classroom expectations and procedures with the kids. I'm a floater this year and I have 3 preps so it's going to take some time to smooth out my schedule. Right off the bat, I can tell that my 1st period and last period groups have been in 'sub mode' aka I'm still gonna try to get over on this teacher even though I clearly acknowledged her request, so I've got to get them back into shape quickly. Thankfully, there's a school wide discipline policy so that should alleviate some of the chronic line-steppers. Speaking of that, teachers, how do you handle students who constantly test the rules? I have about 3-4 students in each of my classes that I'm going to have to keep a tight leash on, at least for the first couple of months.

Hustlin'

2007-08-30T22:06:00.001-04:00

Well, here's a quick update of the events that have happened since last week:

1) My team teacher gave his resignation on Monday, leaving me as the only upper grade teacher left on staff from last year.

2) The VP finally decides to assign me English (6, 7, and 8th + a section of writing).

3) I had an interview with a unionized charter school yesterday.

4) I received a telephone call from my local public school district yesterday afternoon requesting my presence at the new hire orientation this Friday (Last week, I had an interview w/ a Middle School principal. She used to work at my high school and basically hired me on the spot, contingent upon the district hiring me under a waiver until I become fully certified).

5) Ever so leery of charter schools, I called the unionized charter school back today and told them that I found a position elsewhere.

6) I turned in my letter of resignation to H___h___ charter school shortly after receiving the telephone call from the public school system.

So, public middle school comrades, tell me what I'm up against! I already know that I have to go in there firm and no nonsense for the first couple of months. And I know that the teaching load will be different and I'll have to deal with a variety of students that you don't typically find in charter schools (pregnant students, students with special accommodations, etc.). Also, I haven't heard anything back from Human Resources yet. I was an 'at will' employee, so I'm not sure if that means that I have to sign any exit paperwork or not.

Update

2007-08-23T00:09:00.000-04:00

Thank you, everyone, for giving me some solid advice on how to handle this latest nonsense. I did in fact speak with the Principal yesterday morning in person. According to him, my schedule would remain the same as last year (6th grade Humanities). However *cue dramatic music*, the new vice-principal later calls me up to her office and informs me that I will in fact be required to teach 6-8 grade Science and Social Studies. She promises an aide, support materials, etc. but I don't think she understands that I have no flippin' interest in Science, and trust me, I did support my case in a rationale manner!

The only step holding me away from a preliminary teaching license is passing the State licensure test in Middle School Humanities. Once I do that (lord willing I'll have my passing score by December 20007), then the last step is mere paperwork. I did inquire about any last minute teaching opportunities in my local public school system with my former guidance counselor just to see what's up... I tell you, this whole situation has really left a sour taste in my mouth about teaching, and most especially, about ineffective administrators. While it wouldn't be fair to the kids to jet once the school year has begun, what sense does it make to agree to teach something that I know I have no passion in?

Changes

2007-08-21T11:14:00.000-04:00

I just got off the phone with one of my team teachers and the shit has officially hit the fan! I'm 3/4 of the way certified as a 5-8 grade Humanities teacher (I work at a charter school which does not require their teachers to be certified at the time of hire). Please explain to me why:

--I may be teaching 6-8 grade Science (I have NO experience with science beyond my k-12 education. Hello, my degrees are in African American Studies and Gender/Cultural Studies!!)

--I called the principal yesterday and explicitly ASKED him if I would still be teaching 6th grade Humanities as I want to be prepared with lesson plans for the first 2 weeks. According to that conversation, he said that I'll still be teaching 6th Humanities.

And the kicker
--The principal has not called me yet! Rather, these changes was relayed to me at least 2 times removed (school secretary, team teacher).

I have to curb my initial reaction to this bullshit and calmly explain my position tomorrow. Here's my initial script:

I am concerned about some recent changes to the Middle School staff at H______ Charter School. In the interests of the students and preparation for the State examination, I would prefer to remain in the subject matter that I have some expertise in: Humanities. I understand that change is inevitable, however, if at all possible, the school should retain/attract a teacher with more direct experience teaching or working in a science-related field for the Middle School level. I hope that you take my concerns into account while preparing for the new school year.

Fellow teachers, I need your feedback. How would you handle this situation? Should I get my certification, give my 2 week notice, and leave these suckers in the dust? Has this ever happened to you?

On (not) Liking Kids

2007-08-18T18:16:00.000-04:00

http://www.pbs.org/onlyateacher/today8.html

“We don't like our kids. This is a country, this is a nation of people who don't like their kids.” ~

Frank McCourt

Is this true, U.S.A.? Do we really not like our kids? It seems like such a juxtaposition; we live in a country with an extraordinary amount of resources for (wealthy) infertile couples who want to have children, we offer our children extracurricular activities ranging from baseball practice to yoga. Yet, having recently finished my first year as a teacher, McCourt has touched a raw nerve. He's right, we don't like our kids.

If we did, I wouldn't have had to advise a student on whether or not he was ready for his first kiss. Or give up part of my lunch to make sure that one of my female students ate something every day. Or have to explain to one of my students the difference between a true friend and an enemy. Don't get me wrong, I know that compassion is part of being an effective teacher. However, there's only so much that one teacher can do with the limited resources. Some days, it really does seem like many of my students' parents just don't like their kids. Thoughts? Comments?

Thursday Thirteen #1

2007-08-16T13:00:00.000-04:00

I came across this meme in the past and thought it was cool! The object of the meme is to come up with 13 facts about yourself each Thursday in order for your readers to get to know you better. 


Thirteen Things about  Laniza 


Thirteen Books That Changed My Life

1)The River Where Blood is Born by Sandra Jackson-Opoku--I love everything about this book, especially the way that Jackson-Opoku weaves in African and Caribbean spirituality, and the history of Black folks on colonized lands(Caribbean, Africa, Americas) into one cohesive narrative about a particular family tree.  If I could take one book with me to a deserted island, this would be it.

2)The Color Purple by Alice Walker--Celie.  'Nuff said.

3)By the Light of My Father's Smile by Alice Walker--Again, like The River Where Blood is Born, this book reverberated the power of the spiritual and the physical worlds and how they collide in fascinating ways.

4)Beloved by Toni Morrison--As an undergraduate, I enrolled in a seminar about the novels of Toni Morrison.  The professor had us read Beloved alongside the actual court case that the novel was based on (see Modern Medea: A Family Story of Slavery and Child-Murder From the Old South by Steven Weisenburger).  While Beloved does not stay totally true to the actual facts, nonetheless, it offers the reader a glimpse of why a mother would rather kill her baby than see it suffer through slavery.

5)Wild Seed by Octavia Butler--This book literally did change my life.  
I had enrolled in an upper level English course which had Wild Seed as one of the required texts.  In a nutshell, Wild Seed is a tale about two shape shifters and their altering of reality, creating a new 'pattern'.  I loved the story so much and became fascinated with the author and her other writings as a result.   It just so happened that my professor was producing a documentary about Ms. Butler and had encouraged me to apply for funding so that I could accompany her.  To make a long story short, I ended up receiving funding and had an incredible time with Ms. Butler.  That trip solidified many of my dreams and goals today.

6)When I Was Comin' Up: An Oral History of Aged Blacks ed. Audrey Olsen Faulkner, et. al.-- This was one of my first exposures to the Oral History field and I fell in love.  This is one of my ultimate goals: To be an oral historian, documenting the lives of elderly African American women.

7)Sacred Woman by Queen Afua-- Practical advice on how to be a sacred woman in the 21st century.  While I don't agree with every principle in this book, overall the knowledge is impressive.

8)Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison-- The opening boxing scene.  'Nuff said.

9)In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez--This was my first exposure to Las Mariposas.  Powerful stuff.

10)The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie--Simply exquisite.  Rushdie packs a lot into this novel (Elvis, race/class/gender, boy risks life to get the girl back)

11)Dreamer by Charles Johnson--An imaginative take on the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s life

12)Black No More by George Schuyler--I love this satirical look at the Harlem Renaissance and its key players.

13)The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz--This book is so simple, and yet in its simplicity lies 4 complex thoughts or agreements.  The hardest agreement for me?  Be impeccable with your word.
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday.  Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged!  If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments.  It’s easy, and fun!  Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well!  I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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2007-08-14T13:47:00.000-04:00

I have been blogging in one form or another for at least 4 years now. Here's where I'll write about my experiences as a 6th grade Humanities teacher at a small charter school in my hometown. My first year teaching at 'Chance' charter school was bittersweet. This year, I want to foster more of those sweet moments. My action plan for school year 2007-2008 includes:

1) Creating a consistent classroom management plan implemented on Day One. What is the 'buy in' for students to behave well?
2) Viewing each lesson from the vantage point of the students--Am I reaching all of my learners? How will the students show what they've learned? Is the lesson engaging from start to finish?
3) Balancing work/life responsibilities.

I want to be the best teacher possible. My students deserve no less. Let the show begin!