Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
I definitely felt anxious at the beginning of this school year. Over a third of the staff at my school left and the administration is brand new. All summer long I kept telling myself that everything's ok but I didn't believe it until I saw the positive changes that the new administration has brought. Don't get me wrong; everything isn't perfect. However, the new administration is willing to listen, and try to do what's best for the students. That, right there, is half the battle.
With all of the changes happening, the principal(s) have told me more than once that I am a valuable asset to my team. As I come to a crossroads professionally, I am discovering that self-doubt will not get me far. I have to celebrate my strengths, and learn from my weaknesses.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Reverb Prompt 22-Travel
Prompt: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
Other than traveling back and forth to visit my mother in Boston, I haven't gone anywhere out of the ordinary this year. I would love to participate in a tour of Civil Rights memorials in the South. Or take a fun day-trip to an amusement park out of state. This summer, I plan to be on the road as much as possible!
Other than traveling back and forth to visit my mother in Boston, I haven't gone anywhere out of the ordinary this year. I would love to participate in a tour of Civil Rights memorials in the South. Or take a fun day-trip to an amusement park out of state. This summer, I plan to be on the road as much as possible!
Reverb Prompt 21 Future Self
Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
Five years from now, I am a homeowner. My oldest daughter is a successful college freshman and my youngest daughter is in kindergarten. My husband and I are more in love than ever. Most importantly, I am teaching in a spiritual capacity. My future self would advise the following:
"Dear L,
Stay true to yourself. Don't let other people's perceptions of reality mess with your head. You will not remain a middle school teacher forever. As a matter of fact, once you break out of your shell and start really putting yourself out there, you will attract the spiritual teachers/like-minded individuals that you so desperately crave. Do something to make yourself happy everyday. Always live with intention."
Ten years ago, I was entering the second half of my sophomore year in college. I was very insecure about my place in college. I was still trying to sort out a dysfunctional relationship with my oldest daughter's biological father. I had an abortion. I had no real sense of what it meant to be a woman. Here's what I would tell my former self.
"Dear L,
Although college may seem like the hardest thing you've done so far, you'll look back on these years with fondness in your heart. Yeah, your family is crazy, and you did not grow up with a lot of resources, but you've earned your seat. You deserve all the success and accolades that come your way, and more. You will travel, complete an amazing project that will put you in touch with one of your heart's desires, and will meet your future husband.
Your oldest daughter will grow from being a bratty spunky kid to being a headstrong opinionated teenager who just so happens to have two loving parents that will go to the ends of the earth for her.
The abortion, while necessary during that time, will do more damage to your psyche and your body than you realize. You will beat yourself up over the fact that you even got pregnant again, especially given the fact that the baby may not have even been his. Though he cheated on you, you will guilty for exploring other options. He had a hold on you that took a long time to break.
However, you do heal. Eventually, you become pregnant again and everything is right. You are married, have benefits, a decent job, and most importantly, feel thankful for another opportunity to be a mommy again.
While the pregnancy will be relatively uneventful, the birth will be quick and intense. Later, the doctor will tell you that you had a hole in your uterus and will show you a picture of it.
You will inspire young minds. You will see your mother become clean and stay clean (this time for good). You will know your worth as a woman. Everything will happen according to God's plan."
This has been so cathartic typing this out!
Five years from now, I am a homeowner. My oldest daughter is a successful college freshman and my youngest daughter is in kindergarten. My husband and I are more in love than ever. Most importantly, I am teaching in a spiritual capacity. My future self would advise the following:
"Dear L,
Stay true to yourself. Don't let other people's perceptions of reality mess with your head. You will not remain a middle school teacher forever. As a matter of fact, once you break out of your shell and start really putting yourself out there, you will attract the spiritual teachers/like-minded individuals that you so desperately crave. Do something to make yourself happy everyday. Always live with intention."
Ten years ago, I was entering the second half of my sophomore year in college. I was very insecure about my place in college. I was still trying to sort out a dysfunctional relationship with my oldest daughter's biological father. I had an abortion. I had no real sense of what it meant to be a woman. Here's what I would tell my former self.
"Dear L,
Although college may seem like the hardest thing you've done so far, you'll look back on these years with fondness in your heart. Yeah, your family is crazy, and you did not grow up with a lot of resources, but you've earned your seat. You deserve all the success and accolades that come your way, and more. You will travel, complete an amazing project that will put you in touch with one of your heart's desires, and will meet your future husband.
Your oldest daughter will grow from being a bratty spunky kid to being a headstrong opinionated teenager who just so happens to have two loving parents that will go to the ends of the earth for her.
The abortion, while necessary during that time, will do more damage to your psyche and your body than you realize. You will beat yourself up over the fact that you even got pregnant again, especially given the fact that the baby may not have even been his. Though he cheated on you, you will guilty for exploring other options. He had a hold on you that took a long time to break.
However, you do heal. Eventually, you become pregnant again and everything is right. You are married, have benefits, a decent job, and most importantly, feel thankful for another opportunity to be a mommy again.
While the pregnancy will be relatively uneventful, the birth will be quick and intense. Later, the doctor will tell you that you had a hole in your uterus and will show you a picture of it.
You will inspire young minds. You will see your mother become clean and stay clean (this time for good). You will know your worth as a woman. Everything will happen according to God's plan."
This has been so cathartic typing this out!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Reverb--Avoidance
Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
I've avoided working to my fullest potential as a teacher this year. I still haven't got the right groove for lesson planning and grading yet. And frankly, I feel like a hamster on a wheel lately.
I've been avoiding pushing myself because I'm lazy and I don't really feel like it. I don't see the reward in stressing myself out or coming up with fabulous lessons only for the kids to say that they 'still don't get it'.
Hopefully, the holiday break will re-energize me enough to want to do this, at least until something better comes along.
I've avoided working to my fullest potential as a teacher this year. I still haven't got the right groove for lesson planning and grading yet. And frankly, I feel like a hamster on a wheel lately.
I've been avoiding pushing myself because I'm lazy and I don't really feel like it. I don't see the reward in stressing myself out or coming up with fabulous lessons only for the kids to say that they 'still don't get it'.
Hopefully, the holiday break will re-energize me enough to want to do this, at least until something better comes along.
Reverb--Prompt 19
Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
I definitely feel like my body has finally healed from my daughter's birth in January 2009. I'm not sure if it was the time of year or my age, but it took a long time for me to get back to myself. I'm glad this day has arrived!!
In 2011, I need a healing for my soul. I desperately need to carve time out for myself to just be in the moment and breathe. My life isn't as difficult as it could be--I want to always be thankful for my blessings and working towards more abundance in my life.
I definitely feel like my body has finally healed from my daughter's birth in January 2009. I'm not sure if it was the time of year or my age, but it took a long time for me to get back to myself. I'm glad this day has arrived!!
In 2011, I need a healing for my soul. I desperately need to carve time out for myself to just be in the moment and breathe. My life isn't as difficult as it could be--I want to always be thankful for my blessings and working towards more abundance in my life.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Reverb 17-18
Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
I've learned to never underestimate my abilities. I've been told throughout this year by various people in my life that I have what it takes to make it. I just have to believe in my self, and make it happen! Speaking of making things happen,
Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?
For 2011, I really want to live as authentically as possible. No more lying, feeling shameful, or less than. No more not pursuing my dreams because of x, y, or z. Life is too short for "if onlys".
I've learned to never underestimate my abilities. I've been told throughout this year by various people in my life that I have what it takes to make it. I just have to believe in my self, and make it happen! Speaking of making things happen,
Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?
For 2011, I really want to live as authentically as possible. No more lying, feeling shameful, or less than. No more not pursuing my dreams because of x, y, or z. Life is too short for "if onlys".
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Reverb 12-16
12. Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? The beginning of 2009 versus 2010 was definitely a body integration moment as that is when I gave birth to my second daughter. I think that anytime a body goes through that much intense pain at once, after awhile, your body and mind start to operate as one.
13. Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?
My next step is definitely putting some of my thoughts into action; specifically to do with spirituality and my career aspirations. I really need to get back to the basics and follow the golden rule. Once I start treating people the way that I want to be treated, I am positive that more doors will open for me.
14.Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
I definitely appreciate that my mother is a totally different person than she was a year ago. Without going into too much detail here, for a while I did not think that my mother would live to see age 50. It makes me so happy to see her succeed. I show my gratitude every time I see her by telling her that I am so proud of her and that I love her dearly (although I keep my distance because she's a Sagittarius, and Sags are crazy!! haha!)
15.5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. I want to remember my lazy, carefree summer and my baby girl growing into an individual with her own preferences. Mostly, I want to remember the growth in moving from point A to point B. It may not make much sense right now, but it will in the future.
16.Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? This prompt is hard for me to answer because I don't have a lot of friends, or those that I would consider close friends, anyways. There are two sets of friends that stick out in my mind: at my current place of employ and within the graduate class that I am taking this semester. I've bonded with a few people on my team and they've changed my perspective about the school environment and the students--basically, it's just a job, don't get caught up in the politics, play the game, don't get played. As for my graduate class cohort? They've allowed me to see that we are all life-time learners and no one has all the solutions to every problem that we'll face in the classroom.
13. Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?
My next step is definitely putting some of my thoughts into action; specifically to do with spirituality and my career aspirations. I really need to get back to the basics and follow the golden rule. Once I start treating people the way that I want to be treated, I am positive that more doors will open for me.
14.Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
I definitely appreciate that my mother is a totally different person than she was a year ago. Without going into too much detail here, for a while I did not think that my mother would live to see age 50. It makes me so happy to see her succeed. I show my gratitude every time I see her by telling her that I am so proud of her and that I love her dearly (although I keep my distance because she's a Sagittarius, and Sags are crazy!! haha!)
15.5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. I want to remember my lazy, carefree summer and my baby girl growing into an individual with her own preferences. Mostly, I want to remember the growth in moving from point A to point B. It may not make much sense right now, but it will in the future.
16.Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? This prompt is hard for me to answer because I don't have a lot of friends, or those that I would consider close friends, anyways. There are two sets of friends that stick out in my mind: at my current place of employ and within the graduate class that I am taking this semester. I've bonded with a few people on my team and they've changed my perspective about the school environment and the students--basically, it's just a job, don't get caught up in the politics, play the game, don't get played. As for my graduate class cohort? They've allowed me to see that we are all life-time learners and no one has all the solutions to every problem that we'll face in the classroom.
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